Women "happiest at 28" screams the headline, in the way only the British newspapers can. According to the article in the Telegraph's Health News section, it's all downhill after age 28 in all aspects of women's lives.

Well. That's. Just. Great.

As the average life expectancy of women is 80.1 years that means we spend 52.1 years slowly sliding down every scale: body, happiness, finances, career, family, sex, and looks.

According to the article, the study showed that women are:

- happiest in their career at 29

- most content with their relationships at 30

- have the best sex at 28

- feel most content with their financial situation at 33

- most at ease with their home and family life at 32

And the reporting shows that women are frantically trying to slow the clock:

- Two-thirds feel they age more quickly than men

- 56 percent worry about losing their looks as they get older

- They spend an average of 22 minutes a day on a beauty routine

I have spent an enormous amount of time on Google trying to determine the primary source of this story, since the paper repeatedly cites the "research" of the study as coming from Clairol Perfect 10, which is a hair dye. There are 40 results in Google news for the story. All of the stories link back to the original Telegraph article, which gives the only original source for this news article as a "survey of 4,000 women" in the U.K. by the hair-care company. The anonymous source of quotes in the story is only cited as "a spokeswoman for hair colour brand Perfect 10." Watch out MIT!

There are no research findings or scientific evaluations anywhere on Google, so this might just be a PR gambit by parent company Procter & Gamble that the Telegraph took as actual news. So this study isn't exact science, it's more like Scientology. At least that is what I am going to believe, rather than ruining my day thinking I'm slipping further down from my peak of happiness.

Anecdotally, though, I think there is some truth behind this "study." We do think it's harder for women to age than for men, who are often viewed as more handsome or distinguished with age. My girlfriends and I spend a lot of time discussing our fine lines, finding gray hairs, latest diet tricks, workout routines, highlights/lowlights. We debate whether to get Botox, liposuction, boob jobs, and tummy tucks. (I have had none of the above, not yet anyway.)

The best women can hope for after age 28 is to be called "well preserved" (which is how Gov. Mark Sanford's Argentian lover Maria is described) or told you "look good for your age."

So the 22 minutes spent daily on a beauty routine must be British women only, because if you combine the morning and evening beauty routines of me and my friends, it's probably closer to 45 minutes minimum. (If you include blow-drying hair, you'll get to an hour.) Men always complain about the time it takes for this, but they don't have to use every day: eye cream, anti-wrinkle cream, moisturizer, SPF 15 (min.), shampoo and conditioner, hair product (frizz-prevention or body-building or curl-defining), makeup (too long to list here), night cream, face masks, hair masks ... you get my point.

The ticking clock of age weighs heavily on most women, no matter what their career success or happy family life. The consoling factor is that it brings girlfriends closer together, because after 28, we are in this downward spiral together.